I wanted to share one of my Sociology assignments as it describes a little about me personally and I am receiving a lot of fantastic feedback by my academic peers.
Proudly Deviant I am proud to say that I most definitely am not a normal person. Uniquely outspoken and deviant would be how others would accurately describe me. In my younger years, I strived to be seen as “normal” and if asked a few years ago I would probably define myself as normal as I spent a long time being too scared to show the real me and so I altered my personality depending on my audience. Always trying to fit perfectly into the many boxes (roles) that were created for me by parents, teachers, peers, and society. There are still some days where I suppose depending on who asked, I would feel like I do fit into the “normal” behaviours portrayed by normal people. For most of my life, I considered myself a popular person who followed the current trends of the “cool kids”. Or the “normal” people. I had similar routines to those I spent time with. Had an average middle-classed family life, went to public school, went to social events, and engaged in the same day to day activities as others that I viewed as “normal”. All the communities I was a part of always had a large element of division and exclusion it seemed. And as upsetting as this has always been to me, while striving to conform, I was proud that I held the social statuses that I was naturally able to. Race always mattered, so as a Caucasian female I felt secure where I would see others around me being treated and made to feel “Less than”. At quite a young age, I learnt how important beauty was to gain affection and respect which caused me to put a lot of pressure on myself to fit in. The older kids were considered cooler, so as an intelligent and early matured young woman, I usually had a lot of older friends. Then those who excelled in curricular activities growing up were seen as a higher status and I always strived to be the best at everything I could. And I usually did extremely well. Saying this however, as I began to grow confidence, I began to receive unfair sanctioning and treatment by certain educators in my school. Simply for excelling. For example, I strived to receive a 100% grade on my grade nine provincial exam for English. I was well prepared as this was a subject that I found was a slight struggle at the time. I received my exam back graded at a 98%. When I inquired about the reason for the 2% deficit, my teacher advised me that he had never received a 100% and therefore did not give out a 100% grade. Leaving me feeling quite crushed as I perceived this as a personal ego battle and an attempt to keep me in a lesser role in his perceived “pecking order”. For I had earned that 100% exam grade and was not provided with factual evidence of my lacking 2%. As I have grown older and began to be, well, disgusted, at some (most) of the roles and expectations put on us by other members of society in an organizational structure, I have become proudly deviant. I have still always managed to find some friends and people who share similar interests and views as me. However, because of my outspoken nature and thirst for the truth in all situations, I would be labeled now by most as deviant vs. normal. I have always been one to question the “norms” of each of the perspective roles I was expected to play a part in. My inability to follow rules that were clearly biased or unfair in some way has always led me to being sanctioned in school and in various jobs, and even by law authorities, mostly just for speaking up against them. This does not apply exclusively to just me, either. Sometimes, I have been proud to receive “punishment” for standing up for someone else who I saw was being treated unfairly in some way. Sometimes this is a perfect stranger, and I am not ashamed that some would view some of my passed decisions as foolish. Currently I am facing a custody battle in which a judge without allowing knowledge on any events leading up to my fleeing an abusive relationship, ordered that my children are required to stay in the hometown I have fled because he personally adheres to a non-law that states its in the children’s best interest to stay in the same town as both parents. Not doing his job correctly by taking into account the lengthy history of abuse in our home or gaining facts on what is actually in my kids’ best interest. I have been the full-time provider to my two sons, ages four and thirteen for their perspective lives. I was told by this judge that the children would of course be returned to my fulltime care should I be willing to move back to the town that failed to protect me from abuse for years. I am proud to say I am fighting this judgement. It is not easy, and it is unheard of as the majority would of course, concede and crawl back to an abusive situation. But I have a strong case for my upcoming trial, and I intend to write a public piece showcasing my win once court is over. I want to make changes for those unable to speak up for themselves in a similar situation. So currently I am facing public scrutiny for stepping out of my role of “mother” to gain fairness, safety, and independence. There are many wonderful fathers who only wish to be with their children full-time after a separation and are only granted part-time access. I see no reason why I should be expected to act accordingly and fall into my socially created “role” when the judgement is highly unfair. So, I have made my “role exit”. I suppose I have been training to be a Sociologist before I had ever heard of the term. And I shall forever remain, proudly deviant.